Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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