hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We are all done wearing pants today
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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