I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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