My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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