If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
