I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
