I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have fence marks all over my body
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
