Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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