i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Couch. On fire.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
