i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
