Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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