They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize