I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
