I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
