I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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