she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm at about main and main street
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
