I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
