He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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