I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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