you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
