Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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