shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
As shirtless as possible
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
