we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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