We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize