Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So vagazzling was a success
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
