There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I looked at my own cervix.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
