Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think i have two assholes
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
