I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review