I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
send nudes
from the living room?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
