Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.