Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is

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  (586): So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is http://tfl.nu/xff6
  Replies (3) Good night (728) Bad night (1220)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  my lips still taste like vagina

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  so you liked breakfast?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead

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  (740): my lips still taste like vagina (1-740): so you liked breakfast? (740): ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead http://tfl.nu/odt6
  Replies (18) Good night (3306) Bad night (1146)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.

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  (706): we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating. http://tfl.nu/lk5p
  Replies (13) Good night (6636) Bad night (1344)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'

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  (484): I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock' http://tfl.nu/bqqm
  Replies (12) Good night (4758) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high

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  (607): Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high http://tfl.nu/24mk
  Replies (11) Good night (4988) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.

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  (661): His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that. http://tfl.nu/b2u0
  Replies (14) Good night (760) Bad night (3210)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?

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  (413): Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him? http://tfl.nu/47cq
  Replies (9) Good night (3203) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.

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  (513): All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit. http://tfl.nu/0ntj
  Replies (9) Good night (1219) Bad night (1840)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.

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  (707): i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses. http://tfl.nu/z8lp
  Replies (2) Good night (1875) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Wine is not your friend.

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  (817): I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories. (972): Wine is not your friend. http://tfl.nu/ofhm
  Replies (7) Good night (632) Bad night (1402)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?

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  (218): Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube? http://tfl.nu/2h8u
  Replies (7) Good night (1924) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?

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  (774): Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is? http://tfl.nu/utv4
  Replies (7) Good night (1326) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area

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  (612): He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area http://tfl.nu/q3t9
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.

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  (702): The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me. http://tfl.nu/ddqk
  Replies (3) Good night (313) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex

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  (410): I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex http://tfl.nu/t4yi
  Replies (1) Good night (279) Bad night (90)

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