Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
