i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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