Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
