I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
