ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he thought i was a dude.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
