Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
