We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
