fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
did i just pee glitter
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