I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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