you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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