just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
