i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
