fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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