he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Shame - the story of my life.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
