Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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