Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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