he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
