I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
