As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize