Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
