Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
