Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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