Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
