But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
