all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
