i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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