That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
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He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
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The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!