Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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