If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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