this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Randomize