he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up