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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You said that last year...

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• (214): View more from Texas

  My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (315): View more from New York

  can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.

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• 

  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...

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• (716): View more from New York

  It will be interesting

  (585): View more from New York

  Isn't that your life's motto?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more

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