This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on